Dads and Doulas
Dads and Doulas
Asking fathers to be the main support for a laboring woman has created a very difficult expectation for them to meet. Having a doula allows a father or other partner to be present at their own comfort level and to remain emotionally connected to his partner and child. A mother gains steady emotional support from her partner if he doesn't have to worry about what he is supposed to do if they can both relax and trust the doula's expert care.
Often couples worry that an outside support person will take over the labor experience. The training of a doula emphasizes quiet reassurance of the natural abilities of a laboring woman. A doula is there to help the parents have the type of birthing experience that they want. A doula helps the father become involved appropriately, perhaps by showing him how to massage the mother's back but at all times is sensitive to the couple's relationship and the need to sometimes just remain in the background but to be there when needed. The presence of a doula complements the father's role and also strengthens it.
"Just knowing my husband was there, just holding his hand, was the most important thing to me, while I could trust the doula's words and actions and let myself go, feeling safe that her experience would see us through." - A Mother, The Doula Book
